Self-Care isn’t Silent

Have you ever gotten lost in the allure of self-care?

The logic behind self-care can sometimes be appealing in a detrimental way. When I scroll through Instagram posts about self-care I see gorgeous bathtubs, face masks, and impressive yoga poses which are all great examples of self-care. However, I think the intention behind this practice can become blurred for some of us, especially when managing life with a chronic illness. 

At times, we encourage others to engage in self-care for our own comfort because we don’t like seeing someone we care about suffer. The message can get misconstrued into, “Please take care of yourself in private so I don’t have to see you suffering in public because your pain inconveniences me.” And if that’s your motivation for self-care, then we need to chat.

Caring for ourselves cannot be done with the intention of servicing someone else. So if your narrative for the purpose of self-care is that you have to reduce your needs and quiet your symptoms so that others aren’t uncomfortable, then this isn’t self care. That’s silence.

Self-care is actually defined as “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.” 

Self-care isn’t silent.

It’s loud. It’s advocating for your healthcare providers to listen as you assertively communicate your needs and symptoms. It’s being comfortable asking for help, even through a shaking voice. Taking care of yourself is an empowering act of admitting that your illness bears a heavy emotional toll and allowing others to help you carry that weight. It includes setting boundaries and upholding them. And then yes, for some of us it includes bath bombs and hot tea as a reward for showing up for ourselves. 

Reminder: These posts are for educational purposes only and are not a substitute for individualized mental health counseling