Reclaiming Haunted Anniversaries
You’re here. That’s worth celebrating every damn day.
Some days will be harder when they have painful memories and emotions attached. The anniversaries of our worst days may eerily creep up on us each year and weigh us down to the point of feeling like we’ve gone backward. This anniversary effect can include a reservoir of distressing emotions, thoughts, and memories that flood on the days leading up to the anniversary of traumatic events.
Instead of detaching from these emotions, acknowledging and embracing them may provide more authentic relief. By paying attention and allowing ourselves to fully experience emotions without judgment or analysis, we create an opportunity for healing. This involves staying present and aware, navigating through the intensity of the emotions rather than becoming consumed by them. Through this process, we grant ourselves the space to heal and grow rather than becoming trapped in turmoil.
It is common to be consumed by fear when we anticipate an upcoming day with apprehension, knowing that it has the potential to trigger unpleasant emotions and cause them to resurface. However, if we shift our focus towards actively recognizing the positive moments in our daily lives, we can gather a repertoire of experiences to prepare ourselves. These experiences, known to provide glimmers of peace and comfort, can be planned and utilized as resources to support us during those challenging times.
Reconnecting after these events can be both challenging and rewarding, especially when the anniversary of that date is approaching. This connection doesn’t have to include conversations about your experiences or topics you’re not comfortable with. The most important component for most may be having the support and awareness that you’re not alone, especially on your most vulnerable days.
As anniversaries approach you’re more likely to encounter reminders. You may receive messages from someone associated with experiences of trauma or betrayal, or from people who were close to a loved one who has passed away. Or memories and dreams may become more intense. Knowing that you have someone to reach out to for connection before, after, and on that day may provide more comfort while you’re working to rebuild your trust with yourself and others around you.
By creating a healing space for this process we establish a sanctuary for ourselves. We can use this space for rituals with intentions for self-compassion, forgiveness, or renewal. By establishing a new tradition each year in this space you could choose new rituals that help give you a sense of healing and rediscovering yourself.
As these anniversaries approach, individuals who do not prioritize your safety, personal development, and healing, and who have also experienced similar intense situations, may try to reconnect or seek reconciliation.
You’re allowed to choose what you need to protect your growth and keep yourself safe. You are not obligated to risk your safety by speaking with them and can wait until you’ve built trust with yourself to do so. It’s also okay if you never feel safe to do so.
There are so many opportunities for healing when painful days arise. You deserve to feel safe when painful anniversaries come up.
You are worthy of days brimming with radiance.